I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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