He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
