I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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