is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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