yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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