I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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