There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
sex in a hospital.. check
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
