Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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