Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
