Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
