What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
