We won't sleep together?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
