she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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