Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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