I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
