His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It was confusing and full of hummus
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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