my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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