I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
