yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
