Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
