we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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