At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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