This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
