normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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