Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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