Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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