you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
