Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Randomize
