some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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