Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
