He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
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Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
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Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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