Umm I'm too high to move.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
