how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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