2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
