he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
