would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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