just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
