oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
