Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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