I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
