so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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