Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
