I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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