I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize