Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm really into asian looking animals
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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