Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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