i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I need to align my fucking chakras
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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