my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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