He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
