Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There r osticjed everywhere
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
