Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
