I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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