I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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