Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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