I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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