it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize