dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
