how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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