Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
